BLACK IS THE NEW GREEN: BLACKEST NIGHT F.A.Q.

Summer heralds those Michael Bay flicks with Ben Affleck-y heroes entering hangars in slow motion, Jamba Juice slaughtering more mangoes and apples than usual, reruns on TV that survived the May sweeps massacre, and the This-time-we-swear-it's-the-Final-Crisis-Invasion comic book event.

DC Comics is up to bat with their much ballyhooed "BLACKEST NIGHT" event. So here's a bit of a primer for those in the dark (pun intended, fuck you very much).

What is Blackest Night?
Aside from being the second half of Green Lantern’s creed “In Brightest Day, in Blackest Night”, it’s also the sound that DC’s cash register will be making during the summer crossover event.
Long and short of it is the most of DC’s Universe dead come back with power rings, forcing the Green Lanterns to cancel their annual summer trip to Martha’s Vineyard. Oh and the other colored rings from the emotional spectrum get into fight as well, thus the ‘War of Light’.

Why is it called ‘The War of Light’?
Because calling it ‘The War of R.O.Y.G.B.I.V.” is stupid.

Who are the other corps and what’s their deal?
Red Lanterns= Rage, Orange Lanterns=Greed, Yellow Lanterns=Fear, Green Lanterns =Willpower, Blue Lanterns=Hope, Indigo Lanterns=Compassion, Pink Lanterns=Love, Black Lanterns=Death



Love Lanterns?
Yes. Love Lanterns.

So they’ve got the power of Love? Shouldn’t it be over before it’s even begun?
If the logic of the universe was based on 80s power ballads, then yes.

Technically black isn’t a color.
Technically mood rings would be the gayest weapons in the universe. What’s your point?

What is Blackest Night about?
Based on solicitations, it’s when the Blackest Night prophecy comes to fruition. Green Lantern villain Black Hand resurrects the dead and gets them to stir things up, and the rainbow brigade gets caught in the middle. Hilarity ensues.

Think “Dawn of the Dead” meets “Starfox”.

Wait, you said “Blackest Night prophecy”. What does it prophesy?
Dunno. They just call it that. Nobody exactly says what about. Maybe it's a sleepover with the Wu Tang Clan.

Who’s the main villain?
Black Hand. He’s a necrophiliac with a bum hand. And a flashlight. But he's got the DCU's biggest baddie, the Anti-Monitor to back him up. It's a Smithers/Mr. Burns dynamic.

So this runs through the Green Lantern books?
Originally, this was supposed to be contained in the Green lantern franchise. But DC has to pay for those Grant Morrison homunculi experiments, so they’ve involved practically everything with a DC logo on it, including SCOOBY-DOO.

How many books are involved?
How many fingers and toes do you have? Now multiply that number by a trillion.

Is there a checklist?
Probably, but there aren't enough trees in the Amazon to make paper for it. So I suggest you just stick to the Green Lantern titles if you don’t want to mortgage your home.

Should I have any prior knowledge of Green Lantern to enjoy this?
It’s not like LOST, where even if you're psychic you still wouldn’t know what the fuck is going on.

I think it's fair game for everyone. It’s a pretty easy jumping-on point. But if you like to play “Name that Zombie”, then it’d definitely help.

I think it's something to look forward t, and I'm prediciting it'll make more sense than last year's FINAL CRISIS where I was left holding issue 8 wih what felt like a fork in my left ear. Geoff Johns delivered in the Sinestro War a few years back, and his Green Lantern is one of those books that I consistently pick up. So evil corporate marketing engine aside, I think this is going to be awesome.